Families can be places of great love, joy and connection as well as great hatred, pain and disconnection. Many family members float back and forth across this spectrum of feelings and experiences. At times the people we love the most can be the most difficult to engage in meaningful and loving interaction. We have heard numerous stories of terrible holiday gatherings, broken relationships and fearful encounters among family members for as many reasons as there are families.

Family Dynamics Changes

In our families we develop perceptions about each other that can live on well past their usefulness or accuracy. An older sibling who was demanding and forceful may have changed through the years but his siblings may not have slowed down enough to see this change. A younger playful child who had to be taught manners and social mores may be an incredibly successful professional as an adult who initiates and exhibits creative innovative activities but is still treated as the ‘one who needs instruction’. These dynamics can lead to tensions and unwillingness to interact. Without seeing, understanding and releasing old perceptions, we often hurt each other and create the gulfs between us that make it hard to be in relationships. The Dialogue work helps to take a long loving look at who we are and how we are today so we are free to create the kinds of relationships that honor and sustain us.

Transitions

Transitions are often great times for intentionally examining and learning new ways of showing up and engaging. Common transitions include marriages/partnerships, births,  loss of a loved one through death or divorce,  someone moves away or chooses to disconnect. Differences of perspective or particular actions can also be a catalyst for change in relationships. Changes due to family business needs can also create tension and inability to interact due to overwhelming day-to-day business demands.

How DynamicDialogue® Can Help

This is NOT therapy. It is Dialogue training and practice using the DynamicDialogue framework. The work of Dialogue is all about slowing down, looking intentionally at yourself and others without blame or judgment. We learn and practice ways to truly listen to each other with open minds and hearts. We learn and practice ways to speak our truth with compassion while hopefully experiencing the reality that our “truth” is often simply our perception or experience. Examining situations, thoughts, and meanings without judgment allows us to shift our understanding of who we are and how we can be together.

Our trained facilitators and mentors work with families to improve relationships by providing resources and practices designed to reveal the places of misunderstanding and disconnect. Some of the practices help surface places where misunderstanding created a chasm with a process for building bridges for reconnection. Some of the practices help to clarify differences and guide members through a process where they can reveal challenges, look at who they are and what they need, and then choose a path of increased connection or of detached relations.

We work with individuals, couples, and any size family groups. Our Dialogue practitioners have initial conversations with those interested in exploring family dialogue. Then they either refer you to trainings with others and/or we design programs to help you work through the current challenges.

If family members desire a different kind of engagement or a different kind of relationship, it is possible to achieve. If family members are willing to look deeply and lovingly at themselves and toward each other, positive changes can and do happen. It is not magic; it often takes time and can be the most rewarding work.

We have hourly, day, and program rates that are tailored in price and design to meet the particular needs of the family. Contact Jean Holsten via email or by calling (916) 648-1803, ext. 11 to learn more and start your process to better family communication.

You and/or your family members may also be interested in our Workshops.